I wrote this a year ago today, on our anniversary. I am posting it again today, because it so perfectly describes our marriage, and I haven’t found better words than these.
Eleven years ago, just after my first marriage ended, I picked up the phone and answered an ad for a tiny little rental cottage by the beach in Westport. The phone was answered by the man who was to become my landlord, neighbor, and three years later, my husband.
The stars were aligned that day. The stars have been aligned ever since. It is our wedding anniversary today, and I have learned immeasurable lessons over the last eleven years.
I have learned that marriage, like life, is something of a rollercoaster; if you’re lucky, the highs and the lows will be exhilarating and fun; when they’re not, the key to success is knowing it will pass. It always does.
I have learned that generosity and kindness are the single biggest gifts you can give your partner, the single greatest traits that will ensure your marriage grows deep roots to sustain you over time.
I have learned that it isn’t always easy to be kind, when you’re tired, and grumpy, and busy herding kids and cats, but that the mindful act of stopping what you are doing and paying attention to your partner, may be the greatest act of kindness there is.
My beloved, beloved husband is the best human being I know. He is wise, and warm, and clever, and funny, and goofy, and sexy, and handsome, and sweet, and selfless, and distracted, and brilliant, and thoughtful, and kind.
He has brought so much laughter, fun, comfort, friendship and peace to my life. He has been the only one to ever really know me, and to show me that even when I’m grumpy, or sad, or angry, or shouty, he still loves me; he has taught me that I am loveable, which has been an enormous gift.
We have been together eleven years, and it is our eighth – bronze – wedding anniversary today. Last year was copper – he bought me flowers and a copper watering can because together we have learned the very best lesson of all: The grass is greener where you water it.
Happy Anniversary to my Beloved.