If Mama aint happy…
I have written a short piece for the new Chicken Soup book: Chicken Soup for the Soul: Power Moms to be released March 24th.
The book contains 101 great stories from mothers who have made the choice to stay home, or work from home, while raising their families These multi-tasking, high-performing women have become today's Power Moms. Every stay-at-home and work-from-home mom will view this book as having been written just for her. Perfect for book groups, it will contain a reader guide.
In case you hadn't realised, I have lifted the aforementioned quote directly from amazon.com. Only because I would never have described myself as a Power Mom, but since my inclusion, I shall have to rethink myself, and I am very happy about becoming one, particularly because I feel so extraordinarily intimidated by the women I think of as the true Power Moms.
For me, the true Power Mom knows her children's schedule without having to check her date book, and has her child in a life-enhancing or educational activity every hour of every day of the week. (She'd never let her children wander around the yard for a few hours, knocking on a few neighborhood doors to see if anyone else is free to play).
The true Power Mom is first to volunteer for classroom duties. She's the Secret Storyteller who shows up not just with a great book, but with home-made double chocolate chip fudge caramel whirl brownies to boot.
(The first time I went in to be a Mystery Reader for The Eldest Son, I took his favorite book and a smile. A week later another parent showed up. She brought her child's favorite book, Yertle the Turtle, together with a wooden turtle toy handpainted with each child's name in the class. That was when I made the decision to give up.
The true Power Mom shows up at Little League games with her folding chair, her coffee in portable Starbucks cup, her boxes of Munchkins for the team just in case anyone else is hungry, and a selection of fleeces in case anyone's cold. (She does not show up, underdressed, and perch on the bleachers, freezing, her eyes crossed with boredom, before texting everyone she can think of before reading perezhilton.com on her Blackberry and wondering how it is possible that time can pass so slowly it almost, almost, appears to be going backwards.)
The true Power Mom knows the Principal. Well. She will stop him in the hallway and they will chat about possibilities for her child. She will not have spent three years at the same school and be entirely unrecognized by the Principal. (Although she does know all the ladies in the office, which she suspects the true Power Mom does not).
The true Power Mom sends out birthday invitations for her child's parties at least four weeks in advance, and preferably six. She may or may not have printed invitations, but these days she will certainly use evite. She will also have an exact record of who is coming and who has declined. She will not have forgotten to do anything until days before, and have The Eldest Son sit on the phone one afternoon, ringing his friends and inviting them for a sleepover. No no. That's just horrific. A true Power Mom would never do that.
The true Power Mom knows where all things are. Her children are at the bus stop warm, hatted and gloved every morning. They are not wearing a motley selection of her hats, gloves that are too big, mismatched, or pink, which is fine, unless you're a boy, because somewhere in the house is an invisible monster who eats hats, gloves, important paperwork, and Advance Reading Copies that Power Mom is supposed to have read and provided a blurb for, except they appear to have all been eaten.
Until today, I have never considered myself a Power Mom. The fact that I am a not-quite-married mother of four, with two extra children on holidays and weekends, who works, cooks, entertains, runs a household, is building a house, possibly starting a new business, runs all our lives, means that most of the time I'm not feeling very powerful. Most of the time I'm just treading water.
But I'm realising that Power Moms come in very different forms. Being a Power Mom doesn't mean, I realise, being a perfect mother. It means being able to do what's right for you, and your children. For some that means staying at home, CEO-ing their children, being an earth mother, organising busy schedules to entertain their kids.
For others it means leaving the house every day and commuting into the city, working full-time to provide for their families, to provide for their own wellbeing.
And for others, like me, it means having a bit of both. Working to keep my sanity, to define myself by something other than motherhood, and being around for the kids when they climb off the bus every afternoon, to bake cakes and cookies when I feel like it, and slap down Entenmann's best when I don't.
I take my hat off to all of us, because whatever our choice, life is busy, and fast, and hard, and the only thing we can hope for, is to make the choice that's best for us, that makes us happy, because as we all know, if Mama ain't happy, aint nobody happy.
I'm lucky. I'm happy. And I'll remind you to buy the book closer to publication date...
Great Post Jane!
My choice was always to do something that fit with my children, I was lucky that I got to be a stay at home mum for my 2 older children. With my 8 yr old now I chose Real Estate(how unlucky can one be) but even though it is a very very slow time for me I do get to be with my little one a heck of a lot and I LOVE being a Realtor so much so that even though it is a struggle to pay all my yearly dues, I will quietly sit and wait for the market to one day be back to normal, It is a stressful job but I love it and the freedom it gives me, and I just could not quite imagine my life without it.
We are all so diverse, but sheeeeesssh we are all so busy!
Bev
Great Post Jane!
My choice was always to do something that fit with my children, I was lucky that I got to be a stay at home mum for my 2 older children. With my 8 yr old now I chose Real Estate(how unlucky can one be) but even though it is a very very slow time for me I do get to be with my little one a heck of a lot and I LOVE being a Realtor so much so that even though it is a struggle to pay all my yearly dues, I will quietly sit and wait for the market to one day be back to normal, It is a stressful job but I love it and the freedom it gives me, and I just could not quite imagine my life without it.
We are all so diverse, but sheeeeesssh we are all so busy!
Bev
I like your definition of Power Mom better than the Chicken Soup one. I will say that I have had my Power Mom moments- like the birthday parties with theme-coordinated games, treats and paper goods. But overall I am treading water just like you Jane.
Damn! I'm in great company!
I like your definition of Power Mom better than the Chicken Soup one. I will say that I have had my Power Mom moments- like the birthday parties with theme-coordinated games, treats and paper goods. But overall I am treading water just like you Jane.
Damn! I'm in great company!
My Mum totally fit your definition of a power Mum! She was never organized, never ready, but always full of love!! We had parties, we wandered around the neighbourhood, we had activities to do and we had our Mum there after school. That's exactly how I want to be. My work will allow that and I can't wait! I hope I get there someday... xx
My Mum totally fit your definition of a power Mum! She was never organized, never ready, but always full of love!! We had parties, we wandered around the neighbourhood, we had activities to do and we had our Mum there after school. That's exactly how I want to be. My work will allow that and I can't wait! I hope I get there someday... xx
My friend is a power mum as you described. Always ready for anything, kids and her always immaculate - never a mess in the house etc. But she hasn't had sex in almost a year........
My friend is a power mum as you described. Always ready for anything, kids and her always immaculate - never a mess in the house etc. But she hasn't had sex in almost a year........
There should be a bumper sticker, "Make Motherhood An Olympic Sport."
I know a professional dancer and dance teacher who is married to another dancer. How could their children not dance? Well, one wanted to sample the outside world in elementary school and begged to be allowed to play soccer like all the other kids. This was a foreign experience for my friend. For the first game, she rushed from rehearsal and stood shivering in drizzling rain as the other mothers sneered at her for not knowing that lawn chairs and puffy jackets were regulation. Fortunately, the kid soon decided dance was more fun.
There should be a bumper sticker, "Make Motherhood An Olympic Sport."
I know a professional dancer and dance teacher who is married to another dancer. How could their children not dance? Well, one wanted to sample the outside world in elementary school and begged to be allowed to play soccer like all the other kids. This was a foreign experience for my friend. For the first game, she rushed from rehearsal and stood shivering in drizzling rain as the other mothers sneered at her for not knowing that lawn chairs and puffy jackets were regulation. Fortunately, the kid soon decided dance was more fun.
Well said....
Well said....
I love this. I love it! Were you describing yourself in this blog, Jane, or have we met before? I don't feel so alone now! I may not be like those "perfect" power moms but my kids think I'm the best. What more could you ask for?
I love this. I love it! Were you describing yourself in this blog, Jane, or have we met before? I don't feel so alone now! I may not be like those "perfect" power moms but my kids think I'm the best. What more could you ask for?