Salmon parcels with watercress, arugula and cream cheese

Last weekend the doorbell rang on Sunday afternoon, and I opened the door to find a very nice man with a van selling what he said was organic meats and fish.

I like to think of myself as a savvy city chick, and I was about to say thanks but no thanks, but the van looked professional, and he was a great salesman, so when he said he was just on the way back from dropping off at the neighbors - he didn't say which neighbors specifically - I said, okay. I'll try it.

He also invoked the name of the local grocery store owner, although given the owner has access to his own fantastic quality meat and fish, I think, with hindsight, it's extremely unlikely he'd be buying from the man with the van (although I'd quite like to track him down and find out).

He piled box after box after box on our driveway. Filet mignon, rib steak, chicken kebabs, king crab legs, crab cakes and so on and so forth.

I cooked the filet mignon that night. 'Darling,' I called Beloved over. 'Does that look okay to you?'

'Hmmm,' we both stood peering at the meat, which was distinctly grey. 'Is it supposed to be that greyish color?'

'I don't know,' I said. I then threw the rib steaks on for the Smalls.

'Darling,' Beloved called me over. 'Have you ever seen fat that color before?'

The fat was a bright, luminous yellow.

'Er...no.'

Research seems to indicate that when the fat is yellow, it is often when the meat has been derived from an older animal. These animals weren't just old, they must have been ancient. Seriously. I think they had the longevity gene.

We then unwrapped the tuna. 'Sushi quality Ahi tuna,' said the man with the van. It was very pink. So pink it looked like it had crawled out of the ocean itself about ten seconds prior. Highly, suspiciously, unnaturally pink. And it smelt fishy. In more ways than one.

We checked the label to find it had, as Beloved suspected, been treated with CO. This is a practice where tuna is sprayed with Carbon Monoxide to turn it pink. The problem is, it preserves only the color, not the quality, so there's no way to tell how old the fish is. Put it like this: you could keep the tuna in the hall closet for a year and it would still be pink.

In other words, there is no way to tell if the fish is spoiled. Unless you smell it.

And this didn't smell so good.

I have the man with the van's brochure, but suffice it to say I shall not be calling him again. If a charming salesman knocks on your door and offers you frozen food from his van, I'd invite him in to cook up a steak first before committing. Still. The crab cakes were good.

I leave you with one of my mother's new super-easy and super-impressive recipes:

Salmon (preferably not from the man with the van) parcels with watercress, arugula and cream cheese.

Ingredients:

4 filets salmon (not from the man with the van)
1 bag watercress
1 bag arugula
1 bag spinach
2 sticks cream cheese
zest of 1 lemon
seasoning
1 pack puff pastry.

Method:
Blend the watercress, arugula and spinach in a Cuisinart until finely chopped.
Add cream cheese, lemon rind and seasoning to cuisinart, and pulse until blended.
Put half to one side to serve alongside salmon parcels.
Roll out pastry and cut into four squares.
Place salmon in middle, season, add 1/4 of the cream cheese mixture and spread over the top. Pull corners of parcel over fish and seal at top. Brush with beaten egg and tablespoon of milk. Do this four times.
Cook on 350 for around 25 minutes, or until pastry is golden.

Serve with rest of cream cheese and a green salad.