On the Couch
Every month a magazine comes out called Connecticut Cottages and Gardens, featuring perfect and gorgeous homes in our state.
This month, their regular feature, “On the Couch” caught my eye.
It starts with this question: “Do you think the furnishings and objects in a room reveal much about the homeowner(s)?”
I then glanced over at the attached picture.
After I had stopped laughing, I decided to answer the question myself:
Not when you have paid a designer to put all the furnishings and objects in said room.
From what I can see, there isn’t a single personal item in the room, which renders the whole exercise entirely moot.
Is it beautiful? Yes, if that’s your kind of thing. Does it give anything away other than the people paid someone else a lot of money to a designer so they can buy good taste? I’m not so sure it does.
Were there books, paintings, objects, anything that revealed the owners’ taste, it would be a relevant exercise, but honestly, I just can’t quite see the point.
My own home is horribly cluttered, with beautiful bits. I decided to shoot a few vignettes, and do a little “On the Couch” of my own.
The owner has children, and guilt about throwing art projects, like slightly strange dioramas, in the bin. She collects pillboxes, and may be a writer, judging by the typewriter. Some of the pillboxes are not her taste, because secretly she only likes the quirky hand-painted Limoges ones, but The Olds have decided they will give her a collection (if the Olds are reading this, she very much likes the egg box with the egg inside, and she apologises if she is causing offence. Again). She is pretending perfume is room spray because she is too lazy to take the perfume up to her bedroom and frankly she prefers Le Labo.
The Buddha is a constant reminder that she is aiming for serenity, and he is missing a finger because what do you expect when your Buddha comes from HomeGoods and cost $16.95. She tried to fix it with Mighty Putty, but it didn’t work, thus proving the homeowner is also a sucker when it comes to Infomercials. The sunflowers are happy - she is a sunny person. The glass vase contains Charlie the caterpillar, proving she is very cheap when it comes to pets, and she is hoping Charlie survives longer than the fish. In the background you can see stacks of books on the kitchen counter, so she is horribly disorganised because fiction does not belong on a kitchen counter.
She dreams of one day owning an amphicar because she thinks it would be funny to drive down the ramp at Compo Beach and drive past waving at people. She is living the minivan dream, which she isn’t entirely sure she ever wanted, and the card that says damn right she’s good in bed, she can sleep for days, is honestly not a joke. She has a slight girl crush on Carolyn Bessette Kennedy who was her style icon for her recent wedding, and she is a boater, as the tide charts are up on the fridge. She is also not very tidy. Ahem.
And this, finally, is my beautiful vignette for the magazine, complete with requisite coral, shells, greyhound bookends and abstract art…
September 4th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I love that post, Jane! It allows us to get to know you better
For a person who is “not very tidy”, I think your fridge doors are actually well-organised LOL And I LOVE the four small frames in the last picture!
September 4th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I did, of course, hear Lloyd Grossman’s accent for all of that.
And you need to show us the messy MESSY parts, like your closet, or the laundry room. Let us know you are REALLY normal and untidy.
September 5th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Very fun glimpse into your life and home. I have been thinking about you a lot these days, since the new designer print (i’d pick the leopard) Snuggies came on the market. I see that commercial all day long! Have you given in yet?
September 5th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Oh, you make me laugh. This was so cute.
September 6th, 2009 at 7:09 am
I so love refrigerator art, my houses my collection of Fiesta magnets, and a picture of hubby in front of his antique shop, and a wedding picture.
I even have a button that says: Metropolitan Refrigerator of Art
My problem with the above magazine layout is how sterile and clinical it looks. I’m surprised they didn’t put plastic seat covers on the chairs like they used to in the old days.The kind that said: “ERKKKKK!” when you got up from them on a hot day.
SU
September 6th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
What a great post. My boys used to store kisses in those little Limoges boxes. I had totally forgotten about them until I saw your post. What a great memory. I definitely prefer a personal decorated style to something that is sterile, yet beautiful. Personal touches are always the best. Love your pictures.
September 7th, 2009 at 5:49 am
Janey you really make me laugh. I loved your piece on Home Decor and love you too. See you in 10days. Halcyon Days is being visited!!
Daddy
September 8th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Why is a disco ball in your dining room necessary???? And I bet it cost over $10,000.
No accounting for people’s tastes. I much prefer your simple, comfortable style.
September 8th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Omigosh, that picture made me think of the horrendous living room the designers did in “Swapping Lives!” Too funny! Love your books!
September 11th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Hi Jane, what a great writing exercise for my writing group! We have used photos as prompts before, but always as a scenario or a setting. This is awesome because it can be used to trigger discussion on character. Love it!! Thanks.
September 13th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
How very dead the first picture is.
You are absolutely right –it is the quirky and the personal junk/objects d’art which bring
a house to life.
In another life, I sold paintings at a gallery on Rodeo Drive and we used to go to hang them in swanky homes.
Many houses had……….no character at all.
Yours has bags of charm.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Just finished reading my first (definitely not last) of your novels and decided to look you up. After resisting the urge to grab the nearest stick and commence batting the ‘chandalier’ dangling precariously in this post, I scrolled down and was, at once, relieved and thrilled to see our fridges could be kindred spirits. Now, if I could only find my nine-fingered Buddha.
Looking forward to more from you,
Jill
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
LOL!!! I’ve been a huge fan ever since u’re 1st book came out… I own ALL u’re books & purchase the next 1 ASAP…It’s the only ME TIME that I have & really enjoy!!! Recently I’ve been confined 2 my bed (tore some ligaments in my left leg & have a cast on) & I find refuge in u’re books (which I’m now reading 4 the 100th time around) & blogs. In regards 2 u’re “On The Couch”…I couldn’t stop laughing!!! You always lighten up my day & for this I will be eternally greatfull!!! Best wishes!
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
I love this post. You give me some idea in re designing my place. Thanks.