I’ve had an interesting email I wanted to share with you. It’s from someone called Margo, and I only share this with you because, well, she seems lonely, in need of friends, and I thought if any of you have some extra time on your hands, perhaps you could email her? She sounds very nice, this is her email:

Hello… You don’t know me but maybe I want to know you ;)…a little about me:)I am tall, with not bad body pretty girl…I very want to meet man of my dream, i dont know how should he to look.. I have a lot of time for meetings and if you have any ideas how to spend it with me… just email me back at MARGO@flhsupplies.com i will reply back with some really cool photos with me …and maybe you will want to meet me next day))) see you. kiss

I will say I’m not entirely sure why she has written to me. I suspect she has heard on the grapevine that I have a very handsome brother, but he has been married and with child for rather a long time, and I don’t quite know how to break the bad news to her, which is why I thought I would share this with you, in the hope that we can bring a little light into her lonely life. Also, it warms my heart that she ended her plea with a kiss - how lovely is that?

Some of you may have brothers or uncles who are in desperate need of a tall, pretty girl with a not bad body, and I have a sneaking suspicion that when she says she doesn’t know how should he to look, I think she means she doesn’t very much care. Hell, for all we know this is her way of letting us know she has a fetish for horrors - the uglier the better.

I’m also impressed that she clearly has the ability to meet with your brothers, uncles, etc, the next day. I’m thinking that whatever flhsupplies.com is, she must be pretty damn successful. In fact, in order for her to absolutely be certain that she has the possibility of meeting any of you the very next day, she can’t possibly fly Commercial. I mean, how could she be sure there would even be any last-minute availability on Continental or American. So I’m betting she uses Netjets, which means, my friends, not only is she tall, pretty with a not bad body and a serious job, she’s also wealthy.

And because I want to help, (although really, I don’t know how willing I’d be had she not sent me that sweet little kiss) and because she’s asked my specific advice as to ideas of how these many thousands of men should be spending their time with her, I’ve come up with the following ideas, which I think are blissfully romantic, and I’m sure would make any man happy:

* Take your NetJets jet (although I could be wrong, it could be Marquis) to a romantic place in the Caribbean, say, Jamaica Inn, for example, and have a romantic stroll along a starlit beach before sitting down for dinner and whispering sweet nothings in one another’s ears.

* Arrange a private box at a game for the sports team of his choice, including a romantic picnic of champagne, caviar, and a molten chocolate lava cake the two of you can share, whilst whispering sweet nothings in one another’s ears.

* Charter a luxury yacht for a midnight cruise around an island of your choice, and organise his favourite band to serenade you both as you lie in one another’s arms and whisper sweet nothings.

In fact, I even found a website that Margo may be interested in. Sugardaddie.com is for women who wish to date millionaires. Okay, I realise that Margo is the millionaire here, but there seems to be an option for men wishing to date ‘Sugarbabes’, and I think we can all agree that Margo is the very model of a Sugarbabe. And there are pictures of some extremely handsome men on the website, who are obviously men already enrolled as sugardaddies, therefore clearly searching for the woman of their dreams.

Who knows, with your help, we may end Margo’s lonely days forever.

I was in the city yesterday having lunch with my publisher and agent, and discovered the Republican (the ex-husband) was on the train home, and he gave me a ride back to the house.

Our times together are not exactly…comfortable, but yesterday I couldn’t help myself, I had to ask about Sarah Palin, and here’s what he told me: 47% of Americans identify themselves as being on the Christian Right, and 70% of Americans have never left the country. In other words, if he is correct about those figures, that is why they picked Sarah Palin, someone with whom the American heartland will identify.

There is nothing about her with which I identify. I find her abhorrent in every way.

I am disliking her more by the second, particularly after her speech last night.

And I am deeply worried.

So here is my interview for Bookzone at the chavtastic Grove hotel in Hertfordshire. Note my extraordinary squinting - the sun glaring off the white sand was almost blinding…

http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1616703808

The tour’s going well, and tonight I’m doing Candace Bushnell’s radio show on Sirius at 5pm, before my signing at Borders on Park Avenue in NYC. Last night I was in Fairfield, and a reader had me in tears, telling me how much my books touched her - thank you!

And lovely to get out the house after six hours of back-to-back radio interviews around the country, six hours of answering the same questions, and trying to sound ‘fresh’ every time. Aaargh.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but out of the many, many interviews, only one had read the book, and I shouldn’t be surprised because I used to do the same thing.

Years ago, I had a radio show, and I never never had time to read anything beforehand (although today, on the other side of the microphone, I think that’s a terrible excuse) One day I interviewed Kinky Friedman, author, musician, politician, and it was a very bland interview, not because of him (he is one of the funniest men in the world), but because I knew almost nothing about him.

After I went home I got into bed with one of his mysteries. I think I didn’t get out again for about a week. I read everything he’d ever written, fell completely in love with him, and wanted to KICK myself for not reading them beforehand…

There was SO much I wanted to ask him, and my opportunity had gone.

On the bright side, before he left he handed me a ‘lucky pick’ - a guitar pick with his signature on it. I’ve carried this pick in my purse for fourteen years now, and my life has continued to get better and better, and whilst it may not be entirely down to Kinky Friedman, I like to think he has something to do with it…

The Beach House, currently number three on the UK Times bestseller lists, is now out in the US! Zip to your nearest bookstore, or amazon.com to buy a copy this week, and have a chance at winning signed copies of both The Beach House and Second Chance!

To enter, answer the following:

Question: When Richard cheats on Daff and has his ill-fated affair, where is the location of their first kiss?

Send your answers in to us at elise@janegreen.com by Friday 20th June. The winner will receive the books, and a bottle of Jane’s favourite Jo Malone perfume!

Speaking of Jo Malone, on Monday Jo Malone threw a gorgeous party in their New York store to celebrate the publication of The Beach House. New friends and old came from near and far, and it was wonderful to meet so many fans, and so many wonderful people.

I wish I’d felt better on the journey in to New York - I’ve suddenly developed horrible car sickness, which doesn’t exactly bode well when you’re about to embark on a tour which involves sitting in the back of cars and driving three to four hours to reach an event. Aaargh! If anyone has any foolproof travel sickness remedies, pass them my way! The only thing I know is Dramamine, but it knocks me for six, and I can’t stand in front of rooms full of people to give talks when I look and feel like a zombie…

So go out and buy the book, enter the competition, come and visit me at www.janegreen.com or on facebook -

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=740590599

- and I hope to see you at one of the events soon…

My warmest wishes,

Jane Green

Finally, finally, finally I’ve got my act together enough to update my website, and have done it in the form of a blog, which will hopefully motivate me to write one slightly more often than I have been. I was just thinking yesterday that there was little to write about, when I realized I needed to vent about the brownie moms, and why I am actually pretty happy, in this case, I’m not in with the in crowd.

Just for the record, I am the bad mother who constantly forgets to send the brownie vest in, forgets the dues, forgets the permission slips etc etc. I think this is all relatively normal for a working single mother of four small children, but it seems the brownie moms think not, and these offences are, if not punishable by death, punishable by troop leaders being extremely irritated with me.

Having never done Brownies or Girl Guides as a child - I was far too busy drinking and smoking - I didn’t know what we were in for.

Hell, it seemed like good, clean fun. Now I realize my mistake. Good clean fun, perhaps, if you come from Stepford. Neither my daughter nor myself are, clearly, good Brownie material, and I am so grateful this year is nearly over, and I will never again have to feel like a failure for not getting my cookie money in on time, or because my daughter has mismatched socks.

But enough about the Brownies. Moving on, I’m gearing up for the release of my new book, The Beach House, in June. A simultaneous release in the US and UK means I’m crazily busy, but I’m excited about this book in a way I haven’t been for a while, and I think it’s a bit of a turning point for me.

I’ll post up a sneak preview right before the launch, so keep checking back, and thanks again for visiting.

Warmest wishes,

(failed Brownie mom)