I did happen to be wearing extremely expensive sandals (I had seen them in a magazine ad and had lusted after them for weeks, before biting the bullet and spending far more money than was wise, particularly since I think I have only worn them twice), but I waved my arm proudly. Jangling on my wrist were a bunch of gold bangles and beaded bracelets, which cost about a fiver at the local accessory store for teenage girls. “As low as you can go,” I exclaimed.

I should have kept quiet. Years ago I remember lusting after diamond earrings. I didn’t have enough money for them, and found a remarkable pair of copies on ebay for next to nothing. They were gorgeous, and sparkly. I wore them to a friend’s party, and every time someone complimented me on my beautiful earrings, I burst out, “Ebay! Twenty five dollars!”

A few years later, I was able to afford the real thing, and this time none of my friends said anything. After a while, I realized it was because they presumed they were fake, and probably bought on ebay.

I recently fell in love with a pair of sneakers. They seemed the epitome of trendiness, these sneakers with a large star on the side, deliberately distressed so as to look vintage and worn in, and were horrible amounts of money. I decided to splurge on a whim, and last week, brought them out for the first time. I paired them with jeans, and a simple top, as Beloved and I were getting ready to go to friends.

“How do I look?” I said, walking into the bedroom.

“Great,” said he. “Except for those old sneakers. You can’t wear those. They’re awful. It’s time to get some new ones.”

When I told him they were brand new, and the height of fashion, he asked the price. And reader, I am ashamed to tell you, I lied. And now I feel so guilty, I have put myself on hiatus from anything trendy and expensive for the next few months.

Also, I haven’t been able to wear the shoes since.

And I continue to believe.

Creaky Cottage, our lovely old falling-down-slightly house on the water in Connecticut, has a ghost, or so my husband and daughter tell me. They both say they have seen a woman, out of the corner of their eye, walk down the hallway. I have never seen anything, and I think they are pulling my leg.

Creaky Cottage also has very large windows in the master bedroom. We have thought of putting up curtains, but we love the view so much, we have decided to leave them naked. Every time I wake up at night and look out the window, at the moon reflecting on the water, I feel at peace.

A couple of days ago, I woke up at three in the morning and as I made my way to the bathroom, I found myself looking at the stars, and one in particular. It shone brighter than the others, and – was I going completely crazy – it seemed to be moving from left to right.

I blinked, before noticing that there were another two lights, blinking, and moving from left to right. I stood in the window for twenty minutes, with a mix of vague fear, and excitement, for this was surely my first alien encounter.

I didn’t want the aliens to be coming for me (I was as still as a stone, just in case any movement would attract them) but I wanted to prove once and for all that something ridiculous I believe in, exists. Also, I was waiting for more lights to appear, probably in a circle, and start shining white light down to the ground. I truly expected this to be my close encounter.

Eventually I decided to wake up Beloved, who was in the deepest of sleeps. I tiptoed over, trying not to attract the attention of the aliens and their probes, and shook my husband, who blearily got out of bed.

“Don’t turn on the light!” I hissed, in a sudden panic, before regulating my voice back to it’s normal level. “There are strange lights,” I said, pretending I was exceedingly calm and this was a regular occurrence.

He joined me at the window, looked out and said, “they’re satellites.”

“But…but,” I spluttered. “What about that one? It’s hovering right over the country club.”

“Trick of perspective,” he said, turning and going back to bed. I followed him shortly thereafter, and fell into a dreamless sleep that featured neither aliens, nor probing. I still believe, though, so if you have stories to share, do please let me know.

Mysteriously, of late, I have found myself on long car journeys craving quiet, and conversation. I have been listening to podcasts, to Desert Island Discs and here in America, NPR. The more I have listened, the more I have forgotten to listen to music, and when I have done, it was through Spotify, and tended to be the music of decades gone by.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to watch The Grammy’s with the kids. I love nothing more than a good awards show, particularly the red carpet beforehand. I like seeing what the stars are wearing, and what they’re going to be singing. I sat through twenty minutes of the red carpet before the truth finally hit: I have officially aged out of the Grammy’s. In fact, I may have officially aged out of youth, because I didn’t have a clue who any of them were.

And worse than that, the clothes! Or rather, the lack thereof! “Why are their bosoms hanging out?” I kept muttering to myself, although somewhat gratifyingly The Rower kept overhearing, and he agreed. I felt a wave of pride at having raised him well. We both stared aghast at the screen, at a presenter who wore an evening dress that essentially consisted of two black triangles of fabric that somehow managed to barely cover her breasts, whilst forcing them together in a most unnatural way.

The show started and presenters approached the podium to announce the new categories. Best album, best newcomer, etc etc. With the exception of Adele and Beyoncé, I didn’t have a clue who any of them were. Frankly, neither did my kids. It all sounded like a lot of noise, with some very bad fashion thrown in for good measure.

I felt immeasurably old. I went into the kitchen singing some Jackson 5, realizing I never did buy those sparkly lurex leggings, and wondering if it might not to be too late. Even if they never leave the privacy of my bedroom, there is much bopping in front of the bedroom mirror that I could be doing, the sounds of the seventies, when music made sense to me, on my mind.

(First published in The Lady magazine)